This post may contain compensated links. Refer to my disclaimer for more info.
It’s coming up on Father’s Day 2017 and that has me thinking about the importance of Dads. Their influence is profound – whether in a good or bad way. I’ve mentioned before how we wives possess the power of a woman with such a huge impact in the home. But what do Dads (or father figures) add to our lives and how can we nurture the good?
After Father’s day 2017 in the title, I asked the question, “How will they know?” My question is two-fold:
- How can we encourage our husbands so that they know we have their backs?
- How can we reinforce the influence of the hubs so that our kids know they are loved unconditionally?
I’m challenging myself this Father’s Day 2017 to love and encourage my man as a Father so that he and the kids will know without a doubt they are special and loved. Join me?
Encouragement
I’m spending the days that lead up to Father’s Day this year with a mindset of encouragement and support. Here’s my plan:
Cut Dad some slack
Our men have a lot on their shoulders. This Dad/Granddad gig is a tough job all on its own, but then you add in the pressures of a job, responsibilities, finances, legacy, godly leadership, and marriage, and it’s quite a heavy load to carry. Whether we contribute to the finances or not, they see themselves as the provider of their family – that in itself can be a burden, I’m sure.
What can we do to lighten the load?
Starting today, I want to be a welcoming source of comfort and support, both literally and symbolically. To literally welcome him home with open arms and a cheerful attitude. To stop and listen when he shares about struggles he’s having. To lift him up with encouraging words and actions. To make him feel special and appreciated when he’s home with us.
I fail in this area so much because he comes in from work typically when I’m at my worst. Busy, tired, stressed, you name it. Lately, I don’t feel like I’ve given him the cheerfulness and attention that he deserves. How about you – are you winning in this area?
Reinforcements
We know from our own experiences that a Father’s good influence in the life of a child is important. What kids (no matter their age) need from their Dad is love, time, and leadership. One tremendous blessing that we started in our home was the start of “dates with Dad.” This wasn’t just for our daughter, but our son as well. I’ve tried my best to reinforce this idea with the kids and get them excited about it.
How will he know?
Several years ago, Superman made the awesome decision to carve out a couple of hours each week to spend with our oldest. Since they were both fellas, they didn’t want to call it a date with Dad like I did. “Not cool, Mom, not cool!”
It was just Guy Time.
Sometimes they would go out to eat, go to the gym, or come back home after dinner and work on their trucks. These were very intentional, teachable moments. If Dad didn’t teach him how to be a man, a leader, a father, who would? Many others will gladly teach your son for you – media, friends, college professors, etc.
Not a route I would suggest.
Our son is grown and married now, but at this time was just beginning those teenage years. Interestingly these guy times, started just before a season where Captain was getting older and had his own ideas.
Boundaries were being set and enforced by Dad (if you know what I mean). Our son has always been a clean-cut, respectful kid, but the time had come when Dad and son didn’t always see things from the same perspective.
What was awesome to watch was that they enjoyed their guy time whether they had been getting along perfectly that week or not. This tradition of spending time together each week almost made them face each other and work through it.
Brilliant!
Even if they didn’t see eye-to-eye on curfews, clothes, and friends, the tradition went on and it was like an unspoken, profound message from both of them that said …..
“I love you and still want to spend time with you anyway.”
How will she know?
Princess and Dad started their date with Dad time tradition as well. She was very young when they started has always enjoyed their time together, and seems to enjoy the time more and more as she gets older.
Being the girly girl that she is, she would begin her primping an hour or two before their date when she was little – and I encourage it every step of the way.
Now she’s 16 years old and is incredibly involved in sports, music, church activities, and more. Since she’s usually in town, she’ll just meet her Dad when it’s time to go out to eat. They will typically go walk around Walmart or the mall together, having many conversations along the way.
Intentional time
How else will she know how to be loved properly, cherished like a fine teacup and treated like a Princess? If Daddy doesn’t show her ….. Many others will be glad to tell daughters what beauty and love is – TV, friends, boys, music, etc
Another route I would not suggest.
Those without Dads
What if there’s not a Dad? I realize that all family dynamics are not the same. God is not surprised if there is not a father figure in your home. He does, however, know exactly who your kids need. Pray and ask Him to direct you to a trustworthy individual that can help you with these things.
a trustworthy Grandfather, male Sunday School teacher or Deacon, etc….
If you haven’t committed to some reinforcing one-on-one between your hubs and the kiddos, I encourage you to start this sweet memory now no matter what their age. Don’t let this complacent culture deceive you into thinking that your children don’t want or need to spend time with you or Fathers. Children (especially teenagers) may not admit it, but they absolutely crave the time and attention.
I’m investing my encouragement, love, patience, and reinforcements of my husband’s great qualities leading up to this Father’s Day 2017. How about you?
What will you do for this Father’s Day 2017
Published on HuffPost, Okefenokee Living Magazine, and more, Shan is a Family Travel Journalist with a passion for helping women lose the overwhelm of planning family-friendly trips in the south. She shares travel reviews & insider secrets that Women REALLY want to know about Georgia, Florida, & the Carolinas vacations.
☕️ It’s THE REAL DEAL around here ☕️
Excellent post. Great direction and love the warmth and depth of your words. I too agree, one on one time from both parents or a trusted elder is the epitome of a child’s upbringing. Thanks for posting this. Followed you from sharefest.
Oh My Goodness Vicki ~ thank you so much for your thoughtful & kind words. Seriously, comments like yours make it all worth it!
I agree. I was blessed by wonderful family who gave their time and instruction and it is the epitome of who I am.
WELCOME!
blessings,
Shan
This is such a great post. Your first few sentences are so true. Whether it’s good or bad, a Father does have a huge impact. I’ve been making a conscious effort to listen more too my husband and be more present. And can I just say, the picture with the hands is just so adorable!
I really need to work on welcoming my husband home with a smile and listening more about his day. I try (honestly!) but sometimes I am just overwhelmed with whatever project I’m working on at the time and take his presence for granted. Thank you for the reminder.
Excellent post, Shan! I, too, have been trying to put on a smile and cheerful attitude when the hubs gets home. I’m doing my best to listen intently as he talks about his day.
The hardest part for us, and I know it’s super important, is when and how to have one-on-one time with each of our seven kiddos. We’ve talked about it often, but we haven’t found what works, and so we are failing in this part. Can you offer suggestions?
Love this! My girls love their daddy-daughter dates, and I know sons need the same thing. This father’s day we will be visiting my hubby’s dad and spend it with him.
It is so inspirational. I too have the same feeling that people should celebrate Father’s day. We usually overlook the importance of this day and don’t celebrate it as good as Mother’s day. Both of these days are important. Great post!
Daddy & Daughter time is great. It’s about a bit of spoiling. A few laughs. And the opportunity to sneak in a few messages without her realising 🙂
It’s great to have that time to chat over things with my girl. She questions, probes & pushes for knowledge, understanding & tests those boundaries. Then she asks for treats she knows her Mum won’t give in to… *Sometimes* I say yes 🙂
Being a Dad isn’t the easiest job in the World but it’s got to be one of the best!
When that picture was taken, Jessica was 3. She’s now 7 and I remain a very proud, doting and completely stressed out Daddy…