When I first heard of the Duggars years ago, I joined mainstream America in shock of the their unusual lives and their super-sized family. The strict rules that they lived by were so very interesting though … No birth control. No TV. No internet. No dating. Intriguing for sure.
I’m naturally fascinated by the logistics of such a big family since I was raised as an only child, I suppose. I couldn’t get enough of seeing a woman raise so many children like Josh Duggar and his siblings with such a gentle tone and Christian standard. I grew to respect how the Duggar family valued life and viewed every child as a treasure from the Lord. I gained adoration for how they strive to live by the Bible’s standards no matter how tough or weird to the outside world.
As I got to know the family more, I couldn’t help but develop a fondness and a great deal of motherly wisdom from Michelle Duggar. Her convictions made me look at the scripture with fresh eyes concerning birth control and becoming a godly woman with a gentle and quiet spirit. I’ve had many women remark to me how they wish they had her skills in producing such great kids with such a calm disposition.
Then, the news reached the airwaves about how the oldest, Josh Duggar, has really turned out!
The Argument against Josh Duggar & Family
The argument so popular in social media right now is that the strictness and sheltering of Josh Duggar thrust him right into the arms of adultery and pornography. I mean, the boys had to look at the ground if they saw a scantily clad woman approaching. Their sisters raised alongside the boys were instructed to dress modestly in no-fuss, long dresses and skirts. The boys had no access to catching a glimpse of inappropriately dressed women on the TV or computer screen.
Josh Duggar’s secret sins have everything to do with his upbringing. Right?
I personally say that there are many variables that may have gone into the reason that Josh Duggar has made the choices that he has made. We have no idea if he would have made the same recent decisions if he had been raised in a mainstream home. I keep thinking about the other 30 million accounts that came to light on the cheating website. Were they all, what the media calls, overly sheltered, Christian boys too?
I think not.
My purpose is not to reprimand nor defend the Duggar family at this point. I pray healing and restoration for them all. My goal is to speak life into Christian women who are shuddering at the thought of their precious boys falling into the same snares and I want to provide you with a few reminders
Many Christian Moms have been completely shaken to the core with the Duggar news, and are second guessing their parenting choices – asking themselves these questions,
- “What if I’m sheltering my kids too much as a Christian parent and this causes them to turn to pornography and wild living like Josh Duggar?”
- “What good will it do to raise them with strong conviction and holy standards of modesty, self-control, and purity?”
- “What can I do to absolutely guarantee that my kids don’t turn out like Josh Duggar?”
Should we keep a protecting hand over our kids or loosen up to chill out on our standards? Plain and simple ~ There is no guarantee!
I can guarantee you this, however, we are called to certain standards of parenthood as believers and then we are to trust the Lord with the rest. Easier said than done, huh? Yes, consistency and faithfulness in godly parenting takes guts and requires much. It requires determination, diligence, and desperate cry for the Lord’s help.
We are fighting a battle, my friend. A fierce, raging battle against an the enemy who is seeking whom he may devour. That includes my children, and yours. It also included one that just happened to live in a famous family, Josh Duggar.
It’s time to suit up for battle, girlfriend!
I don’t like to lose, do you? Look what’s at stake to be lost here. Would you rather go down fighting for your children against the enemy than to have never fought at all? We aren’t called to be perfect as parents but as long as we are diligent in following God’s word and open to the Holy Spirit’s leading, we will make a difference. Our children must see that we make mistakes ourselves, but that we make amends, repent, and do an “about face” into the opposite direction.
Psalms 127:3-5 Children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Cling fast to God and He will see you through and trust in Him when you don’t think you can. It will be worth it in the end. So there’s no secret formula to guarantee that our kids don’t end up making choices like Josh Duggar but I’m not giving up, are you? Don’t you dare!
I’d love to hear your thoughts about a “guarantee” from a Josh Duggar lifestyle.
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